12月20日，王力宏婚变事件让「煤气灯操纵(gaslighting)」这个词进入公众视野。
该书教你快速识别精神操控，远离“毒性关系”。

Psychologists use the term "gaslighting" to refer to a specific type of manipulation where the manipulator is trying to get someone else to question their own reality, memory or perceptions.
The term 'gaslighting' actually comes from a 1938 play, Gas Light (which was turned into a more widely known movie in 1944, Gaslight), where a husband manipulates his wife to make her think she's actually losing her sense of reality so he can commit her to a mental institution and steal her inheritance.
US-based author of The Gaslight Effect, Dr Robin Stern, outlined the insidious nature of gaslighting, writing: 'It's a form of emotional abuse and manipulation that is difficult to recognise and even harder to break free from.'
The term describes a type of emotional abuse, and unlike other forms, is difficult to recognise because it distorts a person's sense of reality.
At its mildest, gaslighting leaves women uneasy, wondering why they always seem to end up in the wrong.
At it's worst, gaslighting leads to major depression, with formerly strong, vibrant women reduced to abject misery and self-hatred.
vigilant as you must be if any of the following features occurred in your relationship

• Ghosting
  It can happen when you've met up a few times, or even after things get serious - but constitutes when someone literally removes you from their life, without warning.
• Slow Fade
  This is where someone gradually backs away from a potential relationship, but doesn't cut all ties immediately.
• Breadcrumbing
  This is when someone leaves a trail of small but flirtatious messages for a potential date, with no intention of meeting.
  Taking its name from the classic tale of Hansel and Gretel, breadcrumbing involves leading someone on with a trail of flirtatious messages but never following through.
• Benching
  Before couples have 'the talk' and define their relationship - also known by the acronym 'DTR' - either party is at risk of being 'benched'.
  This happens when one person is unsure of their future with their current partner and so puts them on the 'bench' - as with sports team reserves - and looks at other options. If nothing better comes along, they might come back into play.
• Zombie-ing
  This is when someone has already ghosted his or her way out of a relationship - but then tries to come back.
  Social media has also opened up a new playing field for zombies, who can now 'like', 'comment' or 'follow' their way back onto their target's radar.
• Layby
  'Layby' refers to someone who is in a relationship but looking to get out. Instead of risking a period of singleness when it eventually ends, a layby starts laying the groundwork with other women or men who they might want to date next.
  Those being pursued by a layby should be wary as he or she might well have a number of 'next' options lined up - not to mention the fact that they are not technically single.
• Catch and release
  On the other end of the spectrum is the dater who practises the 'catch and release'.
  This is a move favoured by those who enjoys the 'chase' part of a relationship, the first flirtations before any commitments are made.

Afterall, healthy relationships are based on respect and equality.